The Long Way Round

 My Routine And it was Evening and it was Morning Since my routine is easier to understanding starting in the evening after I drop my kids off, I'll start with a Jewish day. G-d said "And it was evening and it was morning, one day", so Jews say "And it was evening and it was morning, one day". I drop the kids off with their foster mother around 18 or 19. I try to get them in, she distracts them, and I leave. It's easier that way. Then, I start my evening routine. If I have enough money I'll get cheap ready-made chicken from the local grocery stores and eat it for dinner. Then I drive to the gym, get at least some cardio in, and then shower and change. At this point it's usually still a bit too early to bed down, so I'll go to a coffee shop, order an iced tea which they kindly refill for free, and sit for a bit. Sometimes I'll write, sometimes I'll shitpost, rarely I'll practice my coding craft because, well, fuck it. Once 2130 hits an...

My oldest takes ritalin twice a day. it's really effective for her. And she also just transferred to a new school since she (and her brother and sister) are living with a foster mother for awhile. At her previous school we spent a lot of time getting a routine established for how she'll take her mid day dose. The new school's principal rejected it outright because on her first day there she had a difficult time. Now they're refusing to allow her to take it. At all. Not with their nurse, not with me. This in itself is bad. But the absolute glee the office staff, the special education coordinator, and the principal had telling me that it will absolutely not happen was disgusting. Whatever minimal faith I had in school again is gone. ACAB includes school administrators.

It's been a wild ride so far. I have three children. I had four briefly but the fourth died. Then their mother started to really melt down, CPS got involved, she was removed and received a ton of help from the state to recover and start a new life outside the home. Meanwhile, I was laid off at the end of the year in the whole AI bullshit push. I was the sole caregiver and sole income, and so I fell behind on rent. As soon as I knew the situation I asked the social worker to find a foster home for the children, and she worked with several Jewish organizations to find a good frum family in one of the major Jewish districts. They're Israeli, speak Hebrew, and are raising the children Jewish. They're not used to the routine but it's something they're thriving with. I love seeing them like this. I'm now living in the Subaru I ended up in possession of with no payments after a bankruptcy, it needs some work and some maintenance but I loaded everything I could into it ...

 "Shit shit shit shit what the hell happened" I asked myself as I saw belts flying out from under the hood. I was trying to do an Italian Tune Up on the poor Miata coming over the Rockies, 90 miles an hour uphill in 4th, pushing the engine to just below the red. Turns out, I'd put so much audio gear in the alternator couldn't keep up and the belts finally said "fuck it, I'm out". I didn't realize this until years later though, long after this ship had sailed. The timing belt held. Thank fuck, although the Miata wouldn't be phased by that. But the water pump, the alternator, the other belts, well, they were checked out for the evening. And I still hadn't crested the pass, so I couldn't coast downhill to the desert. "Shit shit shit." The temperature was climbing, the fan was blowing, and nothing was helping. I finally gave in and pulled to the shoulder. "Goddamn. It's 3 am and I'm short a car on the wrong side of the ...

It turns out that when you don't have capital you have relationships. And when you need help with life, you can spend a relationship to stay afloat, however briefly. You spend a lifetime accumulating friendships and acquaintances so that one day, when you're in a tight spot, you can throw one of these under the bus and make it through hard times. Here's to the people who I burned to survive, and to the people who burned me to live, I understand.

 I grew up Jewish. I still am Jewish, without a doubt. But growing up it was a given that we were all Zionist too. We would rejoice in the fact that we'd been given a "homeland" on seized land by a failed empire, and were being propped up by its successor. It was our homeland, created so Europe could finally be rid of the Jews as a race without having to continue Hitler's dirty work. Now, they could have us do it for them against the Palestinians, remove us from Europe, and solve both problems. And then have a base to control the oil reserves from.  And we took the bait. Now we commit genocide, we have a made-up language superficially similar to our ancient one, we've eliminated Yiddish and every other non-Israeli Jewish culture (self-genocide), and legitimize it with the same justification that Europe used against us: "They have plenty of other places to settle, they don't need to be here". Only we don't settle them, we eliminate them. This is g...